More cooking, more fuckups!

So after yesterdays blazing success with the cooking trail, I decided to do more of it. On Wednesday the organic supermarket has a 10% discount for students. This is great, because hey, I really need to save money dude! I went there and got lots of fresh fancy stuff, so now I’m prepared for a lot of cooking in the next few days! And today I made chickpea-shizzle! Here is what you will need:

  • 500gr of dried chickpeas
  • 400gr of plain tofu
  • 2 small onions
  • A quarter of a small cabbage
  • Soy sauce
  • A clove of garlic
  • A little piece of ginger
  • A little piece of chilli
  • Vegetable broth powder
  • 1/2-1 teaspoon of cumin
  • 1/2-1 teaspoon of ground up coriander seeds
  • Salt
  • Pepper
  • Some oil for frying

So it’s all pretty straight forward, I wonder how it ended up so mweeeh again! You start out by putting the chickpeas in a big pot with hot water and cook the shit out of it. You should have put them in cold water for soaking yesterday night. Then while this starts cooking, you do the dishes, like you should have also done yesterday night, you lazy little bastard!

Once you are done and you have a clean pan, start dicing the tofu and onions in equally sizes little blocks and fry them in a big-ass pan. You will add everything into this pan, so make sure it’ll fit. Once the tofu and onion has a little color, soak it in soy sauce, add some salt and the vegetable broth powder, which is actually just a better kind of salt. Don’t ask me how much of all of this stuff. Try it out and learn how to fry tofu for fuck sake! This even I can do!

Lower the heat and let it sit a little while you chop a quarter out of your cabbage. Slice it into super fine stripes and add them to the tofu and onions. Keep stirring from time to time to make sure nothing burns, but let it sit there for long enough so the cabbage is actually well-cooked.

Start chopping up the clove of garlic, maybe you could do two and add as much of ginger and chilli as you want. Chop this all up together, like as small as you can. I’d say make it garlic, ginger and chilli atoms, but that would be stupid! We all know those don’t exist. :-/ When done, add it to the rest and stir it well so the flavor can soak into the rest.

Now if you fucked up the planning of this stuff like I did, you will notice that your chickpeas are far from done by this time. Maybe I should have told you before? Sorry! You should only leave the stuff to fry on very low heat until they are done! The good part: you can already clean up all utensils you used so far and don’t need any more. By the time you are done, I really hope that your chickpeas are too. In fact, I think mine still weren’t done, but I also didn’t want to wait any longer. Pour the chickpeas into a strainer and shake them a little to remove excess water. You don’t want to make everything all watery and shit. Now add them to the rest and mix it up nicely. Finish it off with some agave nectar, or whatever sweetness you want to add. (No honey you dipshit!) Also add the lemon juice, the cumin and the coriander. Finally finish it with salt and pepper until it tastes okayish, because that is all that it will do!

Congratulations, now you have enough of this stuff for the next three to four meals! Sorry about that. But after my last recipe, I think you shouldn’t have trusted me on this one either. This stuff is pretty filling and it will be dominated by chickpeas. I guess next time like 250gr of chickpeas will do to. Maybe, cooking the chickpeas with salt might also totally help the taste. The worst part is the fact that there appear to be little stones in the chickpeas, this will fuck yo my teeth nicely.

I forgot to take a picture again, but I can tell you how it looks. It looks vegan and because it is all yellow, it looks pretty depressed. A perfect fit I guess.

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More cooking, more fuckups!

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