If science is a bitch, academia is a fucking cunt!

Science can be fun, but it also can be hard at times. When you are trying to do some real research, but somehow your code just doesn’t do what you want it to do, it can become really depressing. But eventually, you will achieve something, see some result, proof something works or not and you’ll be okay with it. But then there is academia. I still don’t know why I went down that path, but I’ve settled with my decision of a few years back and apart from my casual and biweekly feeling that I have done everything wrong in life, I can live with it. Then there are days like the past two days.

Yesterday I reviewed a paper, written in extremely bad English, with weird results and unclear experiments. I was going to reject it anyway, but I asked a colleague to have a look at it since he knows more about the topic than I do. The related work was written in better English and it turns out, my colleague recognized parts of the related work from another paper. Copy-Pasta… it’s everywhere! Downright plagiarism! What the fuck?! Then came today, where another colleague asked me to have a look at a paper, because he was unsure if the method was good or not. Let me try to explain it with a little analogy. The paper goes a little like this:

Recently a lot of progress has been made in the field of attaching screws to walls. People have achieved great results with screw drivers and lately better and better results are obtained using electrical screw drivers. These screw drivers are becoming more and more elaborate and they are becoming hard to handle. We propose a more simple approach. Initially people tended to use hammers to put screws into walls. This never gave great results, but with our new modification, we show how we get state-of-the-art results using a hammer!

Now to clarify a little, they expected, and claimed, to get state-of-the-art results by going back to what people did about 10 years ago. Something which should already make you skeptical. Then they described it in a super weird and unreadable way. And finally, their result images looked completely fake and I wonder if it was an honest mistake and they are really too stupid to spot it themselves, or if they are really just trying to cheat their way into a publication. I have often said; “if this and that happens I will quit my job” and today I was thinking about saying: “If this paper gets accepted I will quit my job!” But I was too afraid that it would actually happen. :( So yea, academia is a great place to be. To the authors of that paper: Take your hammer and go screw yourselves!

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If science is a bitch, academia is a fucking cunt!

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